The Secret to a Durable Divorce: Why We "Reality Test" Your Co-Parenting Plan
When you walk away from a mediation table, you shouldn't just be walking away with a signed piece of paper. You should be walking away with a plan that has already been stress-tested in the real world.
At LaMarkian Mediation, I believe in creating a legacy of calm. To achieve that, I use a process called Reality Testing.
What is Reality Testing?
Most legal agreements are "theoretical"—they look good on a screen but haven't met a Tuesday morning tantrum or a Friday afternoon traffic jam yet. Reality testing is the phase of our mediation where I take your proposed schedule and "test-drive" it before it becomes final.
Instead of rushing to a final signature, I build in a period of accountability and boundary setting. I ask the tough questions now so you don’t have to fight about them later.
How it Works: The "Test-Drive" Phase
During our sessions, we don’t just decide on a holiday schedule; we look at the logistics of how it will actually function for your family.
Communication Strategies: We test the cadence of your check-ins. Is an app working better than email? Does a 24-hour response window reduce your stress?
Temperament Charting: We look at your child’s specific needs. If your toddler struggles with transitions, we reality-test a "slow hand-off" versus a quick drop-off to see which preserves your child’s peace.
Financial Accountability: We test the process for sharing extracurricular costs. How is the receipt shared? How is the reimbursement handled?
Why This Creates a "Legacy of Calm"
A plan that hasn't been tested is a plan that is prone to breaking. When a plan breaks, conflict returns. By reality-testing our agreements throughout the mediation process, I are:
Ensuring Durability: We identify the "friction points" early and adjust the blueprint accordingly.
Building Trust: You see your co-parent following through on small agreements, which builds the foundation for bigger ones.
Keeping Children at the Heart: We prioritize your child's actual experience over a "standard" legal template.
Ready to Build Your Blueprint?
If you are tired of "theoretical" solutions and want a co-parenting plan built on reality, I am here to help. Whether you start with Coaching to prepare for the journey or dive straight into Mediation, our goal is always the same: a functional, peaceful future for your family.
